Masochistic Perceptions, Trials and Truths

These are my cyberfied cerebral synapses ricocheting off reality as I perceive it: thoughts, opinions, passions, rants, art and poetry...

Thursday, March 30, 2006


WWE and the Decline of Western Civilization


There have been “bad boy” protagonists throughout my lifetime whether it be rebels like James Dean or the nostalgic portrayal of Mafia gangsters. Arguably, despite being bad boys, there was something – a je ne sais quoi of sorts that caused some kind of adoration or sense that made us want to cheer for them. For example, who isn’t rooting for Clint Eastwood in “Escape from Alcatraz”, even though he is a super max inmate incarcerated for being nasty? I think we tend to romanticise – or at least Hollywood and numerous authors do – the old school bad guys.

When I was in roughly grade nine, I was just growing out of Wrestling as the WWF was just becoming popular. In those early days of the WWF, and certainly from the local Wrestling circuit I watched, there were good guys and bad guys. Just like in the old Westerns, the good guys followed the rules while fans booed the bad guys that were always cheating and showing disregard for the audience. When the WWF made the big time, stars like Hulk Hogan switched from good guy to bad and back to good numerous time, and the fans altered their cheers and boos accordingly, maintaining that you cheer for the guy in the white hat and heckle the cheater/dirty wrestler.

Then something changed. I don’t know when it was exactly, as I really didn’t follow wrestling beyond the age of 14 or so, but it was inevitable from the constant influence of media and conversational bombardment that I grew to know about guys like Stone Cold Steve Austin and his signature “finger”. Now, the cheering and jeering was no longer black and white as it was acceptable to cheer the cheat and dirty fighter (and yes, I know that it’s all fake – just work with my sociological analysis here!!!). Was this a signal of a profound social shift, or simply an enigma of the entertainment industry?

Shortly after the WWF (now WWE) became the massive spectacle that it is at present, I couldn’t help but notice similar shifts in other aspects of society. For example, games like Grand Theft Auto and other one-person shooter programmes often has the player as the bad guy who, inevitably, you cheer for whether it’s killing rival gang members, Police, breaking out of jail, etc. Add to this the whole genre of Gangsta Rap that has launched massive fashion and film industries and glorifying more often than not these thugs and ex-cons like 50 Cent. Look at movies like “The Longest Yard”, recently re-made as well as there being a British version where it’s the poor, woe begotten Inmates that the crowd cheers for over those nasty prison guards. As a Correctional Officer, I must say I get pretty sick of my profession being portrayed through the likes of the thugs on the silver screen and resent the fact that I risk my life every day for a society that would be singing a significantly different tune if I didn’t perform the duties that I have assumed. “Prison Break” is a popular programme that I’ve never seen, but from what I have heard, it sounds like again, Guards are evil cannon fodder.

Looking at this social phenomena, I think that we really need to be taking an active look at this as a society. So much of our world view is developed from the snapshots presented to us through a number of media outlets, and those who do not take the time to take a critical look at what is going on around us are easily sucked in. I never listened to mainstream pop in the 1980’s, yet when it’s played on the radio now I know all the words to most of the songs. That is a testament to the power of the media and subliminal consumer messaging that is taking place every day around us. Think about it. When studying for an exam, how hard is it to cram specific facts into your head for an exam, yet you know all the words to “War” by the Culture Club or Duran Duran’s Hungry Like the Wolf”, even though you never liked the song nor owned the single?

In conclusion, can we say that the WWE nee WWF is the cause of the downfall of Western Civilization and the greying between the black and white world of good guys and bad guys? It might make an interesting thesis for any of you out there doing a Sociology or Anthropology masters or Ph.D.! For the rest of us….?

Monday, March 27, 2006


Moving Out of Check


So, lots of ice, Tiger Balm and high test Robaxacet and my shoulder is feeling better. Did a bit of yoga breathing too. Utilising my endeavour to be patient as practised through learning to be a better Chess player and human being, I didn’t go to Judo this evening, and I might take a week or so to ensure that there’s nothing serious - not pulling the plug on it yet. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It’s funny though, when I get really down I tend to think radically, erratically and resolve to make significant resolutions. For example, in the depth of my woes last night, I took it upon myself to email the school that had offered me a teaching position this past January, stating that if a vacancy was available in September that I’d be interested. This is something that I have been thinking about for some time (it’s brilliant to see how radically I contradict myself from one blog entry to the next as I refer back to my missive on finally deciding to abandon teaching altogether). Injuring my shoulder has really pounded home the realisation that I am getting older and, as I pride myself on being a rough and tumble Officer, that my days of being a proverbial brick shithouse are numbered, and I never want to be one of those Officers who younger Guards dread working with because I’m too long in the tooth to step up to the plate if need be. I have also been put off significantly by the hiring practises at work as, in my opinion, the bar keeps being lowered to the point that the new Officers that we are receiving are dangerous. I know that I have been very critical of the Canadian Correctional system and the people of this country really need to see what is going on inside and in their name – it’s rotten through and through.

Getting back to teaching… I know I said that I felt my desire was waning, but, on the other hand, I feel today’s youth really need a teacher like me who challenges them to have a real look at the world and who is passionate about being part of the process. I know that I’ve quoted Shaw who wrote “those who can, do. Those who can not, teach.” I still agree with this to a degree in that I want to do the things that I’m teaching about as opposed to re-hashing the glory and actions of others. But, also, I think that I’m beginning (and just beginning!) to feel that I no longer have to prove myself. I went from the inner city fat kid who barely passed junior high to an honour student with two degrees and international honours in sport. My resume is rich with travel, things like working in a maximum security prison, etc. I have a beautiful family, great friends, a house in the burbs - what more do I need to prove to myself? I apologise if I’m seeming boastful, as that is not my intent. You’ve got to live life to prove things to yourself – what other’s think is for them to determine.

Life is very much like a Chess game in that you have to plot your moves carefully and keep your perspective as there will be loops thrown at you in addition to gifts and traps. Ultimately we are responsible for each move and learning from each game in which we are engaged. Most often we end up in a draw, but sometimes we win and others, lose. That is life. It’s interesting, using this analogy, as a colleague of mine plays Chess competitively and, as he knows that I’m playing against a computer regularly, invited me to come out to the local Chess club this evening. Though I decline for tonight, I will take him up once I get my feet wet. Using this metaphor, perhaps I made the wrong move back in January regarding this teaching position, and that opportunity may be lost or it may be salvaged - far from check-mate! Because of my mistakes, I feel that I am moving forward wiser regardless and still very much taking in this journey…..

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Wild Geese


It is so nice driving in to work at 06:15 with daylight. This morning was warm for this time of year and I even observed a couple of Canadian Geese who have returned from their southern migration signalling the onslaught of Spring and Summer. Normally this would add an extra bounce in my step, but, alas, I’m once again being nagged by injury and thus throwing my hands up in frustration. I was sweeping out the garage Thursday when I felt a twinge and a pop in my right shoulder. It continues to feel weak and there’s lots of pain in what I am self-diagnosing as a rotator cuff injury.

I was just getting back into Judo. There is a chance that Judo might’ve weakened the area, or, more than likely, it is a combination of Judo and my usual rigorous training regime. The real frustration stems from the fact that I really have been taking it easy as of late, not pushing too hard, doing lots of stretching, light weights with higher, form-perfect reps. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a very intense person, and the restraint, half-speed approach to things of late is a real accomplishment for me. It has never been my intention to make my blog a crying towel to the masses, but I am absolutely pissed about this, so I must vent! I remember having nightmarish thoughts through the years, imagining why I might stop working out or going hardcore into physical pursuits. I envisioned a series of injuries leaving me such a bunged up body of knots and aches that I would resign myself to an easy chair, read books and reminisce over fine single malt scotch whiskey. Is this where I am now?

Oftentimes I have mused over how the body and brain do not age at the same pace, and I guess I have to play a bit of catch-up. The notion of resigning myself from training is of course melodrama on my part as I will always cycle, do yoga and light weights. I am concerned that my job may be an issue though. I pride myself on my ability to perform in a crunch and be an effective Officer as opposed to cannon fodder and a liability. I’m having one of those moments where you have an awakening, asking yourself “how the hell did I get to the point of my journey”? In my mind’s eye I always imagined that I’d be a University Professor lecturing at a school in Atlantic Canada or New England. That still rattles around in my noggin, but I don’t really see a side path leading me there anywhere on the horizon – just the geese returning.

So, now, it’s off to ponder and further dangerous introspections…

Friday, March 24, 2006



Judo Class #2 and Lessons Learning


I attended my second Judo class in a week and the sheer physicality feels great, though the shoulder I had injured back in December is giving me a little of grief. At 6’1” and 220 lbs I was one of the smallest guys there, but there was a nice mix of younger bucks and old boys. I place my self in the category of the older members, though many are surprised to hear that I’m 37 (and if 35 is the age to compete at the Master’s level, then I’m an old boy)! I’m certain that I feel a lot older than many of the strapping young men in their early 20’s the next day for certain! Isao Inokuma, in an article I was reading recently, captures the spirit of training very well:

Judo is a combative sport. It is a martial art aimed at defeating your opponent. Other purposes of judo involve developing physical strength and mental spirit. But when you are up against an opponent, you must never forget the combative aspect of the sport. You fight against your opponent, throwing him down to the mat to achieve victory. At the same time, you fight against yourself. If you think your opponent is stronger than you and get the jitters, or if you are in a difficult position and feel that you must give up, then it will be impossible for you to win. You must not give up the bout until the last second, no matter how strong your opponent may be. You must have a fighting spirit which will urge you on to attack and attack again to the very end. Fighting spirit, to put it simply, is the first thing a judoist needs.”

It is the fight against the self combining the fear of being thrown (which isn’t so bad, but, cerebrally, the notion of my 99 kgs flying over someone’s back/hip onto the floor is not comforting) and practising patience (which is the tangent upon which I have been focusing most, realising my limitations and not opening up full throttle from the get-go). So far so good. I remember getting so frustrated before at Judo. Then I was reading a book about the Art which made the point that in the lower levels, completing a throw is gravy, but the primary focus is to develop one’s ability to break his/her opponents balance. Back then, when I was starting out, I thought one was taught the technique and then should be able to execute. It was like when I played Defensive Tackle in High School Football: I didn’t really understand the objective of my position and thus didn’t excel and rode the pine for my only season of play (I did actually get in for three or for reps, highlighted by a fumble recovery though!). When I made the move to Rugby a couple years later, my team mates totally took me under their wing and it wasn’t too long afterward that I donned the red and white jersey of my country, followed by a brief playing career in England. Rugby was a significant team effort to help me learn my job, in Judo clarity was a simple sentence in a book (now that’s what I call Zen!).

So, my point is for all you instructors, coaches and parents out there, ensure those with whom you are facilitating learning really understand the key concepts as opposed to simply giving information. For example, teach why we need to teach History before we attempt to ram History down their throats. Or explain the concept of why sometimes, in Soccer, backwards is forward and that the dump and chase theory is better suited to Hockey. A good friend of mine and ex-French Foreign Legionnaire is always telling me “if you understand ‘why’ then ‘how’ is the easy part”. It makes sense!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Death and the State



In Canada, abortion is legal while capital punishment and euthanasia are not. This is a rather complex state of affairs, and is at the base of many raw and passionate discussions. Ultimately, none of these areas pertain to issues so black and white that we can just make a blanket statement that will prove just.

Abortion is the only case in which the one being terminated has no choice whatsoever. In committing a crime, there is an element of choice as to whether or not one proceeds with the deed, thus accepting the statement: if I kill someone, am caught and found guilty then I will be killed. The case of euthanasia depends on the existence of a living will or whether the individual is conscious and able to say: I am suffering from a terminal disease and do not wish to carry on.

As straightforward as my brief synopsis above may seem, when you begin to apply their logic to actual situations they tend to fall apart. For example, abortion for the sole purpose of birth control is, in my opinion, completely wrong. In the case of pregnancy caused by rape, we immediately plunge into a grey area. Risk to the woman’s health, or a seriously deformed foetus- again, grey. Ultimately I do believe that it is the women’s body and it is her choice insofar as that choice is not to correct a careless act. People must still be held responsible for their actions.

This is a perfect segue into capital punishment. Someone who takes a life during the course of an assault or criminal act should be held responsible. Then we again enter the grey area. What if Dick finds his wife, Jane, in the shower with John and he is blinded by rage, thus killing the two adulterous lovers? Is mental illness an excuse as in a post-partum mother drowning her children in the bathtub? Are being strung out on drugs or alcohol an excuse?

Lastly we have the case of euthanasia. In the case of someone terminally ill with cancer, there should be no question of that person having the determination of when to die if they so choose. But then this gets cloudy when we are talking about the quality of life and illness/injury. Suppose someone is in a car accident and is a quadriplegic. Sitting here as an able bodied individual, I think I’d want to die. I’m sure, at the moment of diagnosis, so too would the individual. But then we look around at some of the quadriplegic individuals accomplishing great things in society and have to step back. Euthanasia can also be dangerous in that the choice won’t always rest with the afflicted individual. For example, a baby born handicapped or the elderly could fall victim to this if someone else determines whether or not they should live or die.

As we examine all of these issues we must ask what role the State and Courts can really have when it comes down to it? How easy can this be abused? How unfair is it if we do not have the option? Personally, I am pro-choice, pro-capital punishment and pro-euthanasia, but can not begin to stress the massive ‘*’ that I place beside each of these issues. If I were to justify my selections, I don’t know how well I could, and that scares me!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


Just Judo It


I made my foray back into the Martial Arts world at a local Judo club. It felt really good as my previous injuries are healed, but I was suffering from a bit of minor smoke inhalation from fighting fires at work in the wee hours of Monday morning. I know, I said that I was going to have a go at Karate, but a lad can change his mind can’t he? It was an advanced class comprised primarily of black belts one or two browns, one green and then me and another fellow who are yellow belts. I tended to hold my own on the ground, as that is where I am strongest, though the senior belts were obviously taking it easy on me. I didn’t fair quite so well in the stand-up department.

What is the attraction of rough-housing and most men (and some women)? From our early boyhood days we guys tend to enjoy play-fighting and contact sports, and we never really seem to grow up. Is it violence, a desire to be dominant or simply testosterone? Those are always possibilities. Speaking for myself, however, I don’t feel that these are reasons why I enjoy things like contact sports or sparring. I do see a somewhat inherent nature to war in some of the tendencies I have, but, for the most part, it is truly about testing one’s self. Sparring is like chess, but the consequences of an ill timed move results in something slightly more acute than removing a piece from a board. It requires patience, timing, skill and courage to make your move. I’m not really a big fan of the UFC (Ultimate Fighting), though it is interesting to see the number of participants in that sport who have university educations and grew up in the suburbs as opposed to being mean and lean men from the inner city. Why are they drawn to the UFC then? Again, it is that challenge, and there is definitely something very academic at hand here.

I think society is tainted in how it portrays certain things. For example, in the Olympics the man who wins the 100m is admired because “he is the fastest man in the world”, and that is acceptable. Then you show man people a IFBB Bodybuilder and they’ll say that is disgusting and nothing but pure vanity and narcissism. How is desiring to be the fastest any less vain than wanting to be the largest? Or run the farthest? Or jump the highest? Likewise, the duel in the Judo dojo, the MMA in the octagon or the Boxing in the ring; are these any different than the two squaring off on the Tennis or Squash courts?

In any case, it is to each his/her own. All I can say is that it felt great to be back into something physical outside the monotonous rigours of weight and cardiovascular training. What really impressed me was my restraint and patience which was really hammered into me this past December and January when I separated my shoulder and then tore my hamstring. Normally I would’ve pushed the pedal down hard and gone full out. Age and experience (and lots of play versus my Chess computer as of late) has taught me a new perspective and I think it will be very beneficial as I progress. This feels really good!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Justice Rolling on the Toe of Sisyphus


Sipping my coffee over this morning’s newspaper, I couldn’t help but notice the number of articles regarding the Justice System in this country. In the Editorial section there was a chunk of letters from readers baffled by recent court decisions including four youths being released on bail while awaiting trial for beating a man to death on a city bus. There is also outrage that a former Saskatchewan politician, Colin Thatcher, who is serving time for murdering his wife, has received up to 72 hours of liberty away from the minimum security prison where he now resides. Those of you who have been reading my Blog for some time might also remember a rant I had posted regarding the Correctional Service of Canada’s Lifeline programme which pays ‘lifer’s’ a higher salary than Correctional Officer’s like myself, to escort inmates around for appointments, etc. I was shocked at how little press that issue has received. Finally, returning to the Sunday Reader section of today’s paper, there was a full page article on the Guardian Angel’s group to set up chapters in Toronto, Calgary and Edmonton.

I have stressed this point before and must do so again: Canada (and I would go as far as sating the majority of Western Nations) do not have a Justice System, but, rather, a Legal System. The effort to insure individual rights has, unfortunately, resulted in unreasonable leeway for offenders, clouding the line between rights and privileges, etc. The focus of our System has shifted so heftily to the concepts of rehabilitation that the entire focus is now on helping Offenders, at the expense of totally neglecting their victims and those tasks with enforcing the laws of the land.

So, now we are left with a problem with no clear solution. It may very well be a slippery slope when it comes to retracting certain rights of individuals as what is reasonable to one may not be reasonable for others and, once the perpetual swinging pendulum begins to gain momentum, it might skid beyond the point we wish to be. Again, the theme of “freedom to” and “freedom from” has crept up in previous missives here on my site. One may ask, are movements such as the Guardian Angels the next step we need to take as a community action, or would that lead to vigilante justice and a whole can of worms that we rather not open? It’s a tough call.

As someone who works as a Correctional Officer in a maximum security prison, I will admit to being biased. Regardless of how tainted I may be, I do not think that most civilians who saw the state of affairs in our prisons would argue that the balance of justice is off the scale in that most federal inmates live better than lower income law abiding citizens, seniors, etc. One must also ask about the rehabilitative ideology fuelling our correctional system in that, in a world with any sense, we should not be looking to rehab murderer’s and child rapists to put them back into the community. In my opinion, these creatures should be warehoused for the remainder of their lives with the bare essentials at the very least, and executed at best.

Violent crime in Canada is definitely on the rise as we see the numbers of gangs increasing (call me an old fart on this but I definitely blame the Arts Community’s validation of the whole Hip Hop scene and allowing it to become fashionable in mainstream culture as being partially responsible – see previous blog entries on this as well…), cities like Toronto having their highest number of gun deaths last year as well as Edmonton reaching a murder high. Canada hasn’t become as bad as places like the US where there are some 1000 gun related deaths every month – an insane total when you reflect that the US has lost 1500 or so soldiers over the past three years in Iraq where they are fighting a WAR! True, America still has a high level of violent crime in spite of several States having the death penalty, but I’m not advocating the death penalty as a direct deterrent to crime, but, rather to put it forward that an individual forfeits their right to live in society if they take that right away from another. I’m not even advocating this in the spirit of an ‘eye for an eye’ – I’m just saying that it’s a red card and your out of the game, full stop.

In conclusion, all I can stress is that this is our society and people really need to get active and participate in the whole democratic process – write your politicians and newspaper, attempt to get momentum going over the WWW, etc. So many people go through life and react when something affects them directly (most often it is then too late). Even through pro-activity, it is often an arduous and unfruitful undertaking. Still, in the spirit of Sisyphus, we must soldier on!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


Recommended Reading


I’ll be the first to admit that I am a book snob. Mocked by all the written words I will never, in my lifetime, be able to read each time I walk into a book store or library, I must be picky. That being said, the brain is like a muscle and if you train your muscles to their max every time you go to the gym, you will become exhausted, probably injure yourself and not meet your goals. That being said, when referring to one’s brain, burn out is always a factor as you may recall back in the days of cramming for examinations.

So, every now and again, I come across something well written that may not fit into the category of academic or classic, but, is rather a well crafted story. So the other week at work a colleague recommended me a series by the Science Fiction writer, Harry Turtledove. I must say, when I hear ‘Sci-Fi’ or ‘Fantasy’ I tend to shut down with images of space folk and Hobbits running rampant with evil dragons and Smurfs on steroids (I have already confessed to my snobbery) – not my cup of tea at all. After hearing my colleague out, however, and with the assurance that all the characters were human and that there were no space ships, I ventured out to my local book shop and picked up a copy of The Great War: American Front by Harry Turtledove.

The Great War is a three book series starting off in 1914, followed by another series titled American Empire, and, though located in the Sci-Fi section, it is alternative history in nature (then again, what history isn't 'alternative'!). The early to mid 20th Century is one of my most studied epoch as I find it utterly fascinating with all the social changes, literary and political movements, etc. I’ve studied the First World War in considerable depth, as well as the Russian Revolution, Irish Uprising, etc. Many of my favourite writers: Sartre, Faulkner, Camus, etc. were writing at this time. So, needless to say the premise of The Great War was appealing.

The Great War takes place on the North American continent during the First World War. Europe is in the periphery, and the War is going on as it did in reality. The twist is that, in North America, history is altered from the one that we know, resulting in war waging on the continent. Essentially, the Confederacy won the War of Succession, resulting in a very different political map from the one we know. The Confederate States of America (CSA) and Dominion of Canada are allied with the French and British while the USA is allied with Germany and Austro-Hungary. As the War wages, Turtledove follows a number of different characters ranging from Artists, petit bourgeois, Communists, lay people and soldiers. In addition to all of this, Custer is alive and commanding troops along the Canadian border (just one of several historical characters in re-written roles), the Blacks have been freed as slaves in the CSA (but are still treated like crap in both the CSA and USA, planting the seeds of revolution) and there is a Mormon uprising in Utah.

The Great War is truly a good and easy read. I’ll probably go through the whole series, and am already lamenting its end as I’m nearly finished book one (ever get the feeling that you are losing a companion when you spend a lot of time on one novel?). Just a word of warning, Turtledove has another series titled Worldwar which is set during the Second World War where, in a brief synopsis gained from reading the back, blips are ignored on the radars of the warring forces in Europe only to be later invaded by Aliens (much like in Wells’ War of the Worlds), forcing the Axis and Allies to unite and fight back….

Happy reading!

Monday, March 13, 2006



One Life to Live...My Carpe Diem Missive


Those of you who frequent my Blog or search my archives will see that I spend a lot of time debating ideological issues and abstract visions of a world that we will probably never live to see. Growing up, and to this very day, I have had a fascination (not necessarily admiration, let’s get these points very clear here) with things like the rise of the Third Reich and Soviet Union as they were purely driven by ideologies and visions of a different kind of world (a horrendous one in the case of the Reich, and, from the initial rumblings, of Utopia in the U.S.S.R.). Let’s face it, here in the Enterprise Culture of North America, the whole ideological movement exists solely on the periphery, rarely gaining enough popular support to make the foray into the mainstream. For example, the rich are getting richer while the poor aren’t making much headway, but the socialists are no where to be found. In the last Canadian election I listened to several candidate features and when the 18 year old suitably dressed candidate for the Marxist-Leninist Party spoke, you could tell that he was there more as a joke and to appear cool in front of his little gang of non-conformist friends who see Lenin’s face on a t-shirt as a fashionable protest because it looks cool (makes my think of "Hypmotise" by System of a Down: 'why don't you ask the kids in Tianamen Square/ was fashion the reason all of them were there'). I am being harsh here, certainly, but I am speaking more from frustration regarding the lack of choice. It was nice to see the Green Party fare somewhat better, but they still didn’t manage to elect anyone. It is very apparent that leading this country is much more of a job interview to become a CEO than ideological visionary.

So, it’s back to the microcosms. The University of Alberta is the big school here in town and where I did my Education degree. As expected, this is the hub of most our city’s activist groups, alternative radio and source of ideas. As of late, the Student’s Union (SU) there has made some pretty interesting choices. This is an interesting study of “being my brother’s keeper” as discussed in an earlier Blog entry on my site. The SU bristled some years ago when the UofA signed an exclusive deal with Coke to sell only Coca-Cola products on campus. Freedom of choice and corporate influence on campus were the main issues. In more recent years, the SU has begun to fight against fast food on campus, in an attempt to offer student’s healthy alternatives. Again, interesting to see the ideology pressed into motion, but now we are hitting that slippery point of deciding what is good for you and what choices you should be permitted.

Now, a couple of days ago, there was a write-up in the paper about a motion by the SU to ban smoking on campus (inside and out), as well as to ban the sale of tobacco products. Smoking was banned inside campus-wide some time ago, with the exception of the dorms. The SU received 60% support when the students were polled, pitting democracy against personal choice and personal protection. This also creates some interesting arguments, such as what do you do for smokers who live in residence? Is this too much control? It will be an interesting experiment in any case. Have smokers replaced Communists as the infernal bogey-people of the post Cold War period?

Regardless, we live in a bandwagon, fixative culture. I’d be interested to see what is really worse for you – daily consumption of fast foods or use of tobacco products. I must say, though I am a non-smoker and tend to eat a minimal meat organic whole grain diet, that I really question these health ‘evils’. I know lots of people who have lived fairly healthy lifestyles and been very sick, had cancer, died, etc. Then there are those that I know who have smoked all their lives, eaten horrendous meat and fat laden diets, survived World Wars and gone on to be 90! My Father-in-law smokes a pipe religiously, loves his traditional British food and enjoys a drink regularly, survived the rations and bombings of WWII just outside of Sheffield, England, is turning 70 next year and I’d be hard pressed to find a man his age in better health or happier (he also says that smoking a pipe should be mandatory to save on Health Care). Then there’s a good friend of mine who had breast cancer at 28, was a non-smoker and had no history of the disease in here family. I figure there’s a hand that we’re dealt at birth and only some, but little control as to what cards get played.

So, pulling full circle in a St. Thomas Aquinas kind of way, perhaps life isn’t about political ideology, but rather a matter of being passionate about your little corner (as Auntigrav pointed out in a response in a former missive). Love life until you are too busy to die, do unto others as you would have done unto you and make love not war!

…Perhaps I’ll even run for the Communists next time around, and will definitely be watching Rollergirls this evening!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

The Ultimate Introspection Koan


A Koan is given by a Zen master to his student. My Koan (though I am not Zen master and far from it!) is to ask: "who are you when you are your self?"

Descartes coined the statement “I think, therefore I am”. Shakespeare, in describing this further wrote:

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts...


My question is: who is the “I” that thinks? Wittgenstein states that “Everything that can be said can be said clearly”. Bearing that in mind, who are you when there is no one else around? Do we become the proverbial tree falling in the forest with no one to hear us, the sound of one hand clapping, or "are" we because we still "think"?

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Rotten & Religion


This blog entry was inspired by several religion related discussions that I have had as of late, masked in a sleepy-nee-grumpy state of mind. I profess myself to be a Punk Rock Buddhist with the mantra of “question everything”, and, in my world, I would explain my views on religion (unless attempting to sound tactful) using the words of Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols in his second great band, Public Image Limited:


RELIGION

Stained glass windows keep the cold outside
While the hypocrites hide inside
With the lies of statues in their minds
Where the Christian religion made them blind
Where they hide
And prey to the God
of a bitch spelled backwards is dog
Not for one race, one creed, one world
But for money
Effective
Absurd
Do you pray to the Holy Ghost
when you suck your host?
Do you read who’s dead in the Irish Post?
Do you give away the cash you can’t afford
On bended knees and pray to lord?
Fat pig priest
Sanctimonious smiles
He takes the money
You take the lies
This is religion and Jesus Christ
This is religion cheaply priced
This is bibles full of libel
This is sin in eternal hymn
This is what they’ve done
This is your religion
The apostles were eleven
Now there’s a sod in Heaven
This is religion
There’s a liar on the altar
The sermon never falter
This is religion
Your religion

Need I say more? Regardless of its crass language, I think that Johnny really captures the essence of the synaptic narrowing created by those who submerse their opinions solely in dogmatic reasoning wile remaining oblivious to the reality stimulation flooding their shut down senses. I don’t mean to slag off religious people here, but of "religion cheaply priced", and the fundamentalists who take one version and refuse to look beyond that narrow focus. I won’t deny my iconoclastic tendencies, but do respect those seeking a spiritual path through religious avenues…

Sleep, Baby, Sleep


Let me begin by stating emphatically that the scientific notion that we require less sleep as we grow older is a complete lie fabricated by a secret underground of three year olds conspiring to take over the world. Our little one, who was obviously a hard arsed drill sergeant in a previous life with a few loose ends to tie up in this one, has always been an early riser, as in 06:30’ish. As of late, however, it has been ridiculous: going to sleep (impossible to wake) at five or six in the evening and waking at 04:45. My wife and I are zombies. To further push the conspiracy theory, I’ve been hearing lots in the media as of late that excessive coffee consumption is bad and, by their stats, the amount of the black stuff I drink a day is enough to cause an irregular heartbeat. It’s obvious that these subversive children are doing this because they want us totally down and out! Or perhaps they want us to give them chocolate and candy after supper so they will be wound up until a later hour – is that their master plan: candy?!

I remember burning the midnight oil when I was young. I remember jamming until late and then having to get up fairly early, vocal chords shredded, for my Saturday job. There were nights of insanity back when I was playing Rugby, yet we managed to play, weary and hung over, the next morning. I remember being worn out lots when I was in the Naval Reserve too, or pulling all-nighters in university, and survived. In theory that should be becoming easier as, according to science, we do require less sleep as we grow older!

I think of parents who complain about having to drag their teens out of bed every day. They obviously reared their young before the conspiracy, as, going through this now makes me relish those days, should they ever come! Then the revenge can be mine… or perhaps this IS the revenge of these parents, but they were silenced…..

The stuff we write in our sleep, eh!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Government Legislation, Big Brother and My Brother’s Keeper


From our childhood we have explained to us that the “rules are there for our protection” whether it’s calling penalty for a high stick in Hockey or elaborate set of traffic laws to ensure driving safety. To co-exist as a society we are largely dependent on this rules, or, what I will call “the big rules” (i.e. killing, stealing = very bad) so that, for the most part, that co-existence will be harmonious.

The question that I would like to throw out there, however, is to ask whether these rules, as they become more individually specific in emphasis, with only a minimal affect on society as a whole, are ‘just’ or an infringement upon that individual’s freedom? Ultimately there are two roads a society can take: “the freedom to” which opens things up for the individual, or “freedom from” which leads to mass regulation. Ultimately, with these things, we are considering choices and things that may be harmful or dangerous, but not necessarily morally or ethically wrong.

Take something as basic as driving a motorcycle without a helmet. The sole social consideration of this issue is the cost of supporting that particular individual if he/she receives a head injury. One might argue that a person who received a head injury while wearing a helmet might have otherwise been killed, thus costing the Healthcare system less. Further to that, what about medical attention required for broken limbs, skin grafts or back problems? In the end, therefore, who should be left with the decision as to whether motorcyclists should wear helmets – the biker or the state?

Smoking is another wonderful example of legislation and taxes gone mad. It’s amazing the focus given to a non-illicit organic (though chemically treated for that extra addictive power) leaf. Smoking bans in public places have been making their way around the world and even into our prisons. Medical evidence shows that regular smoking is hazardous to your health and that second hand smoke is harmful to others. Billions are spent annually to fight smoking related illnesses and promote anti-smoking campaigns. What it boils down to is that an individual has the right to smoke up until the point where that smoke affects another person, and then it becomes a privilege that that other person (in theory) has the right to take away. So where does that leave us on this issue? Smoker’s will argue that they pay more in taxes through purchasing their product and, typically, die earlier and thus not leaving a strain on the system that healthier folks do…

So being the total devil’s advocate, let’s look at that last point. I am a non-smoker and largely athletic individual. Much of my sporting life has been made up of contact sports such as Hockey, Football, Rugby and Martial Arts. I’ve also done lots of distance running, hiking, etc. At 37 I’ve had one surgery to repair a broken jaw, one knee and on shoulder scoped, physio on both knees, back, wrist, foot, ankle, hamstring, shoulder. I’ve had stitches more times than I can count, plus four concussions (hospitalised once as a result). I’ve separated both shoulders and dislocated one ankle. Now, re-visiting the smoker’s argument, what’s a society to do? How much have I cost the state and taxpayers for medical treatment to pursue my personal pleasures? You can throw in extreme sports here too – the danger and cost of manhunts in backcountry avalanche sites, those who have fallen off rock faces while climbing, surfers drowned, etc.

Next we look at alcohol and drugs, both of which have been illegal at some point and time. Largely, the proceeds that crime reaps from the present drug trade have to do with the issues of legality. One can not argue quite so strongly about people’s attempts to obtain illegal drugs as police stats paint an uglier picture. So, again, being devil’s advocate, wouldn’t it make sense to legalise and make all drugs affordable, thus wiping out all the organised crime and crime fighting measures designed to deal with such things? I am speaking more or less of organic drugs here such as opium or pot. The frame of reference from which this question is posed stems from the fact that alcohol is legal and perhaps responsible for more crimes and death than compared to pot smokers or opium users. All these things, combined with coffee and tobacco products, are used because of a perceived “buzz”, so where do we draw the line on what buzz you can feel and what buzz you can’t?

In my life I have seen a lot of lives messed up by drugs and that’s largely why I’ve never tried them myself, in spite of growing up in an inner city neighbourhood. When I was 13, an Uncle of mine, on Christmas Day, was drunk and held a loaded shot gun to my head. I didn’t have my first drink until I was 19, and never been one to go on a rip with alcohol, though I do love a pint of Guinness or a nice single malt scotch. My wife and I also enjoy the odd cigar together and I even have a pipe that I pull out once in a blue moon which I smoke by the fire while delving into a really good book (and glass of scotch). This is completely organic pleasurability, BUT THIS IS ALSO ALL BY MY CHOICE.

So there we have it! Are we our brother’s/sister’s keeper? What is the extent of our personal freedom as individuals? What will it be: freedom to or freedom from? Is Big Brother watching/controlling us beyond his authority?

Art: "Death & Life" by Gustav Klimt

Sunday, March 05, 2006

My Take on Taking Up Martial Arts


I am in no way a Martial Arts authority. I am a layman who has dabbled in Koga, Judo, Kali, Taekwondo, Aikido and am about to try my hand at Goju-Ryu Karate. That being said, what I am offering here is a guide for adults who are interested in getting into the Martial Arts.

What Art appeals to you and why you want to take up a particular Art is as personal as finding the right shoe as you consider purpose, size and colour. Some Arts have a Traditional focus while others are geared toward more therapeutic, survivalist or sporting interests. Further to this, there are Arts that focus on different aspects of combat: stand-up, grappling and weapons. It really comes down to what you are looking for! Regardless of the Art you select, all will have varying degrees of fitness, flexibility, etc.

Personally, I came to the Martial Arts looking for something with an ideological base as discovered through extensive readings in Eastern Philosophy. I was fascinated by what the body is capable of (also spawning a regular practise in Yoga), especially with smaller weaker individuals being able to neutralise a larger opponent. My background in Rugby made me a fan of the physical, and, later, my career as a Correctional Officer and I.E.R.T. member demanded a certain level of skill. Thus began my search.

If you think that you have found a style that suits you, it’s time to check out the clubs in your area that have classes. In selecting your style, try not to be influence too much by the movies. There is a mythological image around Martial Arts in Western society as some think of someone being a black belt as being beyond normal human capabilities. This is not so. Earning a black belt is the result of putting in the time and effort, nothing more. Martial Arts should be about the journey with your days as a novice being equally challenging as your days as a black belt. In fact, a black belt usually signifies that the student has a solid foundation in the basics, but is in no way a final destination in the Arts.

Bearing this in mind, here are some tips on selecting your club:

Զ Is the club a non-profit or business? The difference here is in what you pay. For example, if the instructor is making his/her living from their club, you will be looking at $100 or so per month, versus a non-profit which may cost you as little as $150 per year. The business guy will probably offer a better facility and more class time flexibility, but the non-profit guy is teaching solely for the love of it. Again, it’s a matter of fit for you.
Զ Will they allow you to watch a class or two and try a few out before having to commit? If no, walk away. Any club that doesn’t give you a look before investing your time probably isn’t worth your investment.
Զ What is the club demographic – family focus, kids or adults? This will come down, again, to preference. For example, if Mom or Dad want to take up Taekwondo with their children, then a family club is for you. If you are an adult seeking something more traditional, refer to point two and decide after that.
Զ If they tell you theirs is the "best" Martial Art and go on to shoot down other clubs/styles, walk away.
Զ Follow your gut.

One further comment, Martial Arts are not all about fighting and violence. Many Arts focus on learning balance, can be dance-like and meditative in nature, focusing on breathing and efficient kinetics. Many Arts assist in building strength, developing patience, coordination and confidence. Ultimately, Martial Arts teaches its students discipline, restraint and perseverance – you will more than likely build in a social component as well!

In closing, Google some of the Arts below and have a look to see what might appeal to you:

Grappling Arts: Judo, Jujitsu, Aikido, Sambo
Stand-Up Arts: Karate, Taekwondo, Kung Fu
Weapons: Iado, Kendo, Kali
Sport focus: MMA (Mixed Martial Arts), Judo, Taekwondo, Muay Thai
Survivalist Arts: Krav Maga, Hapkido
Therapeutic: Tai’Chi, Qi Gong

Happy Training!

Saturday, March 04, 2006


In My Head


No one likes to be under the weather. For me, having to refrain from physical training for any period exceeding 48 hours is excruciating, not to mention the dangerous introspection that breeds within my thoughts as I sit about the place feeling miserable and act curtly toward my wife and daughter. Yesterday was good as I posted a few small victories taking my abstract mind and applying it to more linear/logical tasks of Sudoku and Chess (I beat the computer again today improving my record on the first level of 2W, 3L and 0D), and I must say that one must really develop patience in such endeavors which is something I really need (building on previous lessons stemming from my separated shoulder and torn hamstring of recent months). I’ve always been a chronic over-trainer and it’s catching up with me. My 37 year old frame really can’t handle the rigors I subjected myself to when I was at the height of my professional and international Rugby career in my mid twenties.

That being said, I’ve been seeking my next physical “fix”, primarily through the Martial Arts, in spurts tempered with frustration and, more so as of late, injury. I thought I was finding my way when I took in an Aikido class, but due to scheduling conflicts, the club I was interested in is out. Also, break falls and throws, especially while on the steep learning curve, really pound one’s body. Despite that, there is a really good Judo club in town and, as that was the first Martial Art I tried, earning my yellow belt, I’ve been giving serious thought to going back to it...

...but then my mind speaks up saying “hey wait a minute – the pounding – separated shoulder – remember???!”, and I switch away from Judo and look toward Gojukai Karate. Goju-Ryu Karatedo shares its roots with other styles of Karate developed over the centuries from the unarmed fighting arts of China. These arts came to Okinawa, where they underwent development and fusion with Okinawan unarmed fighting styles. There are take-downs and throws in this particular Art, but it seems like my body would not be subjected to the perpetual pounding of a two hour Judo class. So I think that this is the path that I will take. At the end of the day, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I must say, since my days playing Rugby, I have really struggled in setting particular goals. I think things really went awash when I left Teaching to become a Correctional Officer (though my Martial Arts interests came from intense readings in Eastern Philosophy, long before I became a Guard), putting my in a cerebral tailspin of sorts. Throw in raising a family and an impending mid-life crisis and you get the picture. To be a truly inspirational person I believe that you need to have a passion and that passion must say something of your character. My passion is definitely my daughter, but I need to lead by example as opposed to encourage her while appearing to be doing nothing of note myself.

Damn these long hours of introspection…..

Here's a link to the club I'm looking at + you can find other links to this particualr Art if at all interested: http://www.ualberta.ca/~gojukai/

Friday, March 03, 2006


Corks 'a Poppin', Nose 'a Plugged!


I’ve extended my days off from work by a couple of days due to a nasty cold – seems I’ve had some kind of cold since September, whereas I didn’t get sick once last year. I don’t seem to be the only one. Perhaps the absurdly mild winter we’ve been experiencing is at the root of it all. Anyway, like it or not, I hum my Buddhist mantra: “I am of the nature to become sick. There’s nothing I can do to stop from being sick. Acceptance.”

That being said, I have really impressed myself over the past few days, with a watershed being surpassed today in spite of my sizzling throat and globbed sinuses – literally. I have taken on doing a few plumbing repairs about our house. To give you some background, my handymanishness is limited to stacking wood for god’s sake don’t give me an axe! Last home repair task I took on beyond the changing of a light bulb was replacing an old ceiling fan in our bathroom, resulting in a massive hole in the ceiling and a three inch gash on my forehead. What can I say, I am the product of a fatherless childhood. Actually, I also did a good job sanding and staining a coffee table in the Fall as well, but that’s pretty hard to mess up!

So, we had a leaking faucet in the bathtub for a few months. I dreaded calling in a plumber. Then our kitchen faucet went, so I decided ENOUGH! I hiked down to Home Depot and followed my first instinct which was to reach for a book on plumbing. Long story short, after six returns to the Home Depot (seriously!) and adding somewhat to my tool collection, I completed both tasks SUCCESSFULLY! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m waiting for the water to come rushing through the walls at any time, but fear aside, this feels great!

Snowballing forward from this, I spent the majority of my day sat by the fire reading the first book of Harry Turtledove’s “The Great War” series (it’s an alternative-nee-fictional account of the First World War where the U.S. Civil War ended differently and thus it’s the British-French-Confederacy-Canadian alliance against the Austro-Hungarian-German-U.S.A. alliance), soothing my throat with copious amounts of tea and talking to the dogs and cat. I then decided to play a game of Chess against the computer I purchased a few days ago. I had lost on the basic level 1 yesterday in my first attempt, and again with my second kick at the cat today. Then, after being decimated in my second game (and only utilising the “hint” option 5-6 times) I DEFEATED THE COMPUTER! Who cares if it was on level 1 out of 79 levels, I WON!

With momentum as my ally, I next pulled out my Sudoku book. BINGO! Again, in record time, in spite of Lucretius’ nagging in my sickly nose and head, I completed the puzzle without error at my first go (still on a pretty basic level there too: 3 stars). I felt great in spite of how bad I feel!

I’m a bit bummed because I had tix to see Bob Mould play in town here tomorrow, giving it away knowing that I still wouldn’t be up for a night of distorted guitars and hammering percussions of drums and bass. Anyway, this gave me the lift I needed through the inevitable sniffles one must endure throughout life, bearing in mind there are folks far less fortunate pertaining to their health. Carpe diem!

Thursday, March 02, 2006


Knocked Unconscious in the Wreck Age


Bertrand Russell stated that “People would rather die than think, and often do”. It really scares me how prevalent this statement is in our present day. For example, yesterday I was checking my email on Yahoo where I read a headline about two ushers being shot at a Kanye West concert. I have read previous articles to the same effect around shows by the rapper 50 Cent. I grew up at a time when Heavy Metal bands such as Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden were slapped with the labels of being "Satanic" and accused of inciting teenagers to commit suicide, but it was all pretty harmless in reality (most of the fears were hyperbolized to a frothing fever, but unfounded) compared to what you see coming from the Hip Hop world today.
Rap music in its roots was basically the punk rock rebellion of African Americans who were understandably tired of living like second class citizens and the racism that still permeates in many societies including both Canada and the U.S. In my opinion, what individuals like Chuck-D (who I had the privileged to interview way back in my college radio days) and his group Public Enemy created was both an articulate and intelligent commentary on the problems and issues plaguing Blacks in the U.S., fused with the music and rhythms of their culture. I have since heard Chuck-D do some of his spoken word performances and respect his intellect and praise his commentary, feeling it is a message that really needs to get out.So now we have celebrities like 50 Cent, Jay-Z, DMX, etc. Some are ex-cons and proud of it, rapping about their "experience" which does have some validity, just as one's re-counting of anything. The problem is the message and the subsequent glorification of this lifestyle, coupled with incredibly degrading portrayals of women. In regards to the latter, some will argue that the portrayal of women may appear degrading but is actually, in some convoluted way, empowering. I just don't get that.

Perhaps the most disturbing element of ignorance being depicted by Black hip hop artists are all the gold and diamond rings, chains and teeth. These are guys supposedly speaking out against black repression and Mama Africa, yet they are sporting the gems and minerals that were the basis of that oppression! Can you say “De Beers” anyone? The gangsta stylin’ and guns – can you say children soldiers in Sierra Leone?! Yet the establishment holds these guys up as being “real” and being the voice of Western Blacks. If I were a black person I would be livid that this is being held high as the banner of my culture. Rap isn’t the only facet of popular culture these days supporting Russell’s statement. The fact that we have allowed our media outlets to become cheerleaders and champions of specific causes (and you can throw hip hop into this equation) as opposed to objective reporters of “fact”, has bred xenophobia and lead to misguided support of things like the invasion of Iraq. In Western democracies, people moan about the government they have democratically elected not holding up campaign promises- even though the government is our employee, it always seems to be the other way around! But so many people “don’t like politics”. Need I diverge into issues of environmentalism here? This is quickly devolving into the Wreck Age as our unconscious civilization blunders forward in fear, unwilling to think in spite of its self.