Masochistic Perceptions, Trials and Truths

These are my cyberfied cerebral synapses ricocheting off reality as I perceive it: thoughts, opinions, passions, rants, art and poetry...

Saturday, March 04, 2006

In My Head

No one likes to be under the weather. For me, having to refrain from physical training for any period exceeding 48 hours is excruciating, not to mention the dangerous introspection that breeds within my thoughts as I sit about the place feeling miserable and act curtly toward my wife and daughter. Yesterday was good as I posted a few small victories taking my abstract mind and applying it to more linear/logical tasks of Sudoku and Chess (I beat the computer again today improving my record on the first level of 2W, 3L and 0D), and I must say that one must really develop patience in such endeavors which is something I really need (building on previous lessons stemming from my separated shoulder and torn hamstring of recent months). I’ve always been a chronic over-trainer and it’s catching up with me. My 37 year old frame really can’t handle the rigors I subjected myself to when I was at the height of my professional and international Rugby career in my mid twenties.

That being said, I’ve been seeking my next physical “fix”, primarily through the Martial Arts, in spurts tempered with frustration and, more so as of late, injury. I thought I was finding my way when I took in an Aikido class, but due to scheduling conflicts, the club I was interested in is out. Also, break falls and throws, especially while on the steep learning curve, really pound one’s body. Despite that, there is a really good Judo club in town and, as that was the first Martial Art I tried, earning my yellow belt, I’ve been giving serious thought to going back to it...

...but then my mind speaks up saying “hey wait a minute – the pounding – separated shoulder – remember???!”, and I switch away from Judo and look toward Gojukai Karate. Goju-Ryu Karatedo shares its roots with other styles of Karate developed over the centuries from the unarmed fighting arts of China. These arts came to Okinawa, where they underwent development and fusion with Okinawan unarmed fighting styles. There are take-downs and throws in this particular Art, but it seems like my body would not be subjected to the perpetual pounding of a two hour Judo class. So I think that this is the path that I will take. At the end of the day, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I must say, since my days playing Rugby, I have really struggled in setting particular goals. I think things really went awash when I left Teaching to become a Correctional Officer (though my Martial Arts interests came from intense readings in Eastern Philosophy, long before I became a Guard), putting my in a cerebral tailspin of sorts. Throw in raising a family and an impending mid-life crisis and you get the picture. To be a truly inspirational person I believe that you need to have a passion and that passion must say something of your character. My passion is definitely my daughter, but I need to lead by example as opposed to encourage her while appearing to be doing nothing of note myself.

Damn these long hours of introspection…..

Here's a link to the club I'm looking at + you can find other links to this particualr Art if at all interested:


  • At 6:57 a.m. , Blogger auntiegrav said...

    You shouldn't think "an impending mid-life crisis". That's like saying "I'm going to think about my favorite form of self-flagellation next week." Mid-life 'crisis' is a term for people who haven't gotten past puberty yet. It is when people make a big deal about some choice they make in life. We make big choices every day, and we change paths often. Sometimes we have to make the choices ourselves through critical thinking, other times, they are obvious or made for us. The modern cliche of some big life change in our 40's is because we don't make people act like adults when they get out of their teens. You have already become an adult through your critical thinking and introspection. Welcome to the club. Look at the Net Creative contributions you make through writing, parenting, and learning. There is no impending crisis other than the asteroid or volcano which will destroy the earth. Everything else is just everyday life. Is this lack of crisis a crisis? Depends if you watch too many soap operas while you are home sick.

  • At 8:12 a.m. , Blogger Jetting Through Life said...

    I have always wanted to try martial arts... Just to know what the heck I am doing!!

    I hope you are feeling better!


  • At 10:38 a.m. , Blogger Real-E said...

    Thanks for the well wishes, JTL, feeling much better today. Too bad we couldn't just tack all our sick days to the end of our lives and then have the option to die that much earlier, eh?! G(g)od needs some remedial Human Resources training!

    I'd definitely recommend you have a go at the Martial Arts! Regardless of age, sex or body type there are Arts out there. It's unfortunate in that most people immediately think of "fighting" when it comes to the Arts, or think of the high flying Ninja and Bruce Lee movies they've seen on the big screen. Martial Arts are about developing balance and discipline - the extra aggressive types don't last too long typically. I just think the science of the moves to be amazing, how the weak can conquer the strong. Definitely check out a few different styles and see what's most appealing, as we are all seeking different things from our practises. If you'd like me to elaborate further, let me know.

    You're right about the whole midlife thing Auntiegrav. Often my intense nature clouds what is obviously before me. Must ease off the periphery and get back to the focus...

  • At 3:05 p.m. , Blogger auntiegrav said...

    Maybe that 'focus' comes from watching all those David Carradine "Kung Fu" episodes after school when I was a kid. Seeyalatergrasshopper.


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