Masochistic Perceptions, Trials and Truths

These are my cyberfied cerebral synapses ricocheting off reality as I perceive it: thoughts, opinions, passions, rants, art and poetry...

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Wild Geese

It is so nice driving in to work at 06:15 with daylight. This morning was warm for this time of year and I even observed a couple of Canadian Geese who have returned from their southern migration signalling the onslaught of Spring and Summer. Normally this would add an extra bounce in my step, but, alas, I’m once again being nagged by injury and thus throwing my hands up in frustration. I was sweeping out the garage Thursday when I felt a twinge and a pop in my right shoulder. It continues to feel weak and there’s lots of pain in what I am self-diagnosing as a rotator cuff injury.

I was just getting back into Judo. There is a chance that Judo might’ve weakened the area, or, more than likely, it is a combination of Judo and my usual rigorous training regime. The real frustration stems from the fact that I really have been taking it easy as of late, not pushing too hard, doing lots of stretching, light weights with higher, form-perfect reps. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a very intense person, and the restraint, half-speed approach to things of late is a real accomplishment for me. It has never been my intention to make my blog a crying towel to the masses, but I am absolutely pissed about this, so I must vent! I remember having nightmarish thoughts through the years, imagining why I might stop working out or going hardcore into physical pursuits. I envisioned a series of injuries leaving me such a bunged up body of knots and aches that I would resign myself to an easy chair, read books and reminisce over fine single malt scotch whiskey. Is this where I am now?

Oftentimes I have mused over how the body and brain do not age at the same pace, and I guess I have to play a bit of catch-up. The notion of resigning myself from training is of course melodrama on my part as I will always cycle, do yoga and light weights. I am concerned that my job may be an issue though. I pride myself on my ability to perform in a crunch and be an effective Officer as opposed to cannon fodder and a liability. I’m having one of those moments where you have an awakening, asking yourself “how the hell did I get to the point of my journey”? In my mind’s eye I always imagined that I’d be a University Professor lecturing at a school in Atlantic Canada or New England. That still rattles around in my noggin, but I don’t really see a side path leading me there anywhere on the horizon – just the geese returning.

So, now, it’s off to ponder and further dangerous introspections…


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home