Masochistic Perceptions, Trials and Truths

These are my cyberfied cerebral synapses ricocheting off reality as I perceive it: thoughts, opinions, passions, rants, art and poetry...

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

My Internet is Still Dial-up,
But Life is at High Speed

It’s the last day of July as we get a one day reprieve from the heat here in Edmonton where the mercury has been hovering in the low mid +30˚C for the past 3 weeks or so. I’ve not been around town this much, having made 10 day trips to San Diego and Nova Scotia. The weather in both these places was equally hot as I had the privilege of stepping into two of the world’s five oceans. Anyway, we are now on the eve of August and a mere four weeks before returning to my position at the head of my classroom, raring to open young minds to their potential. I look forward to that, though cringe at the shortening days and the fact that in as many as 10 weeks time the mercury may be sitting nearer to the -30˚C mark than not!

There’s a lot that has happened over the last few weeks which, introspectively, has had an impact on me. The completion of my first full year of teaching in the public system after transitioning from my previous vocation of Correctional Officer was one. The drama surrounding my broken/dislocated toe and all the physical and psychological impacts that accompanied this. Travel, which leaves one feeling a mixture of longing for home while wanting to live someplace a bit more exotic/cultural/happening. Seeing many of my older relatives who, most likely, I’ll not see again… It was rather bizarre walking the streets of Halifax where I spent the first 19 years of my life and recognising very little. When to we cease to descend from whence we came?

The two largest, life changing events have happened within the past week. The first occurred last Thursday where I had to perform emergency first aid on my friends 22 month old nephew who had collapsed, gone into convulsions and stopped breathing. I have been through a whole lot through five years of prison, but none of that came close to the impact of a small child laying before you and you thinking “oh my god, this child is going to die here in front of me". Fortunately, things turned out okay, though I am unaware as to what the cause of this collapse was.

The other largest impact will happen in a few hours as my Father is flying out to visit with us for a week. You see, my folks separated when I was 18 months ago, and I have only met the man once in my life some 14 years ago. I can’t really articulate my feelings at the moment. Crazy.

So goes the journey.

I have been able to read quite a bit this summer, but the queue of what still awaits my
attention is growing rather than lessening. It took me a month, but I managed to muddle
my way through Thomas Mann’s “Doctor Faustus”. Giving my brain a wee break,
reading Jack Whyte’s first novel in his Knight’s Templar trilogy. Must say that my
thoughts are often returning to Freemasonry as there are so many interesting books out
there. I became a Master Mason a decade ago, but let it lapse as I was not finding those
things for which I joined. I wasn’t looking for treasure and earth shattering secrets, but,
rather intellectual stimulation and dialogue on some of the mysteries and questions raised
by historians and conspiracy mongers. The Freemasons are an awesome philanthropic
organisation – which is stellar – but, when I joined, I was seeking more of an esoteric
organisation dedicated to intellectual pursuits as opposed to a Rotarian type organisation.
I don’t doubt this element exists out there, but I was hard pressed to seek it out here.

Funny how little I’ve got done over the summer thus far. On top of making some lesson plans for September topping my to-do list, I had also hoped to give some serious attention to a few of the Chess books which I’ve purchased in hopes of bettering my game. I’ve managed to get a bit of guitar playing in, and actually sat down in an attempt to draw last night (you will see way back on this blog some of my artistic attempts), and have managed some Yoga (though not managed the regularity I had hoped for in my practice). As I near the age of 40, it seems that I’ve dropped a brick on the accelerator of time!

Anyway, I shall sign off for now as I ready myself for the airport trek. So much remains to be done.

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