Masochistic Perceptions, Trials and Truths

These are my cyberfied cerebral synapses ricocheting off reality as I perceive it: thoughts, opinions, passions, rants, art and poetry...

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Last Post for 2009

As the final day of 2009 is over half done here in my part of Canada, I find myself being a little more reflective than I would like. Normally, my intention is to snub the ideas around New Years Resolutions and whatnot as I find that should we break them, many feel down and as if they need to wait for the following year to find the inspiration to try again. The dawn and end of every day, in my opinion, represent the most desirable times for reflection, introspection and goal setting. As long as we continue to live, we have the power to create change, abandon the negative and affect the positive.

However, despite my ideals, I find myself looking back and forward on this day, much more so than I normally would. Perhaps this is due to the recent stroke suffered just before Christmas by my Mother-in-law, and, as a result, my wife has gone over to England to see her. Many things come from this - a sense of mortality. To emphasize this point, on Tuesday I had received a letter from my Father-in-law about our plans for all of us to meet up in San Diego this summer. The letter was dated December 15th, and his wife suffered the stroke on the 18th. In a mere three days, lives were irreversibly altered - just like that!

My wife being away and etching further into my fourth decade, turning 41 on Christmas Day also adds to my thoughts.

Life is a strange road. I know that I need to slow down and take more in as both my cerebral and physical intensity are becoming more detrimental than beneficial to my health. I say I know this, but must also acknowledge that this is my nature and probably will be what kills me in the end. It's served me both in a positive and negative manner throughout my life, and, ultimately, is a mainstay of my being. Perhaps it's a bit odd to make a resolution to be less active! I suppose that's not an entirely accurate statement as, in reality, I need to reorganise my activities and alter the intensity somewhat in a physical sense. The cerebral intensity is my true demon and to have a less active mind might actually see me get a good night's sleep and lessen the daily anxiety that I try to drive away through physical intensity. Having an established Yoga and Meditation practice, I know that I need to enhance this by going out to more classes as opposed to just maintaining the work that I do at home, and focus on longer meditation periods. I will gain my physical solace from Rock Climbing and Mountain Biking, and give up the more harmful weight training and running which has taken its toll on my joints. Ultimately, making a greater impact with less impact!

So, with this, I bid all my readers (yes both of you) the very best in 2010 and hope that your dreams for each day come true!



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